Sometimes it’s easier not to talk about it, because at times what happens if you try to deal with this issue is that it converts into an argument.
Before starting up any discussion, remind yourself that the person sitting across from you is a human being. It sounds like common sense, but common sense goes out the window when heated discussions begin. You have to understand humans aren’t perfect. Humans wish to be understood and accepted and loved by others, even when they mess up.
The second thing is to bring your own flaws, and other flaws you see in your partner to the table. When someone comes to the table with a litany of things that you’ve done wrong, it can feel very much like an attack. When you feel attacked, you’re going to respond with either fight (you get angry) or flight (you shut it out). So how will you start?
Before going into any really deep money discussions, make some notes about what you want to talk, and work through things beforehand. Also ensure that your spouse is aware that you intent to discuss these financial details with them. Don’t make your spouse look bad by being taken unaware about your decision to discuss these matters. Let he/she also be prepared to give their take on this issue.
It’s awfully hard to come to the table as an inquisitor when you’re holding a long list of your own mistakes.
Note that you don’t necessarily have to keep this purely within money mistakes. Often, overspending and other financial errors are tied to other aspects of marital life, even in ways you don’t initially see. Don’t be afraid to bring your own mistakes in other areas to the table.
But don’t use it as a trick to blame your partner, by telling him or her, we are here to sort out your “huge” mistakes and compare to your mistakes mine are “smaller”. Here what you have to remember is that you both make mistakes, and you’re going to work through fixing those mistakes together.
The final step is, before mentioning your fact, do your homework first. This mean if you’re going to talk about credit card debt, have credit card statements at the ready. If you’re going to talk about mutual overspending, have that credit card statement itemized in advance.
Remember, though, you need to bring your own mistakes to the table, too. This means showing your partner the places where you’ve made poor decisions, even if it’s painful.
We hope these tactics will help you to make your financial relationship better with your spouse and it will guide you, how to deal with money issues whether it’s about saving money or future planning without hurting you partner’s emotions.
Adam Ginsberg is helping people with his online money making formulas, and if you want to know more about his resources like eBay tools, eBay templates and eBay auction templates you can visit Success With Adam or Secrets of an Auction Millionaire. You can also listen to testimonials from his satisfied customers.